From faithful to faithless: a look at my early years with Christ (part 1)

I’ve been wanting to share my testimony for some time, yet every time I sit down to write it I become distracted or am all-over-the-place with what direction to take. I consider my testimony to have been at it’s peak around 2014, when actually I have so many stories to share from sometime in the 90’s all the way to this year, 2018.

So where do I start? Well, let’s go back a little….

I grew up in a (what I thought then, now don’t think this) strict Christian household. My parents became Seventh Day Adventists, a denomination of the Christian faith, when I was about 7 years old. I grew up in a church with very few other kids, no activities, and always feeling like church was a drag. And I was a yo-yo private school kid….here’s the quick breakdown:

• Kinder & 1st grade: public school
• 2nd – 4th grade: private school
• Half of 4th grade: homeschooled
• 5th – 8th grade: public school
• Half of 8th grade: private school
• 9th – 11th grade: private academy
• 12th grade, my senior year: public high school

Whew! It’s kinda crazy, but as you get to know me you’ll learn I’m a runner. Not so much anymore cause I have a husband and toddler now, but running away is totally part of who I am.

This all goes to show you how all over the place I am. I was super about Jesus, then I wanted to be “normal” in a public school. All about my fellow Christian friends, then again back at public school, hoping to go to prom. (I didn’t, because I was busy getting high).

Sad, right? That was my life. I grew up so sheltered, and my family is amazing, but somehow I ended up on a pretty horrible path. And it wasn’t even peer pressure, because I am so independent and strong willed, it was more like I just wanted to see and experience everything that was out there.

Thankfully that is not my life anymore, but there were much more bumps along the way.

In High School, I was on fire for God. I went to church every week and even chose to spend my Friday nights at my academy, enjoying worship service and singing Christian songs around a fountain.

Then I decided to go back to public school my senior year. I really wanted to experience prom, parties, football games and have friends in my ‘hood….instead of dorm students that couldn’t even hang out with me on the weekend. Then began a slippery slope of smoking cigarettes, dabbling in drugs and then I started working at a night club. My poor parents.

But they never stopped praying. They never let their faith waver. And, sorry for the spoiler alert, but it is because of their fervent prayers that my ending (so far) is so beautiful and true. More on that later!

I got married right out of high school, spent nearly 5 years in that toxic relationship, then called it quits. I finished up college, traveled to England, went clubbing every weekend, then graduated. In that time I denied God. A lot of my life I questioned his existence, but for the first time I believed He didn’t exist. He wasn’t for me, and I was determined to direct my own life.

The only reason I didn’t die, get arrested or lose everything is because of my parents’ prayers. I moved to NZ for a year, I partied almost daily, then I returned only to keep the same lifestyle that I so enjoyed when I was abroad.

That is exhausting. And so is this post! My favorite part is about to come, so stay tuned for part 2 of my testimony next week.