When I made the transition to stay home with BabyCoolJ last year I went from having a very full calendar to not a thing to do. No mom friends, no playdates, no activites. As a social (yet love-my-alone-time) person, I knew I needed to work on changing that stat.
Within months I had met the most amazing moms, joined multiple groups and built real community. If we hadn’t moved, I like to think my kiddo would have grown up with all these friends, and I’d continue to have lots of play dates and mommy dates.
Now that we’re in a new town, I am starting from scratch. And I’m not letting any time pass! We enjoyed our first few weeks being home and getting to know our new town, but both my son and I need friends. We need community.
So I think I’m in a pretty good place to make some suggestions to moms out there that are seeking friendships. Here are some of my favorite ways I’ve met my mom friends:
Join and engage with mom groups on Facebook
Okay, these groups can be totally intimidating. Many women only want a safe space to ask questions and not actually make friends, while others already have their mom tribes in place. But don’t let that hold you back! Lurk a little, introduce yourself and either attend a playdate or plan your own! I know, you think I’m crazy. But I’ve planned my fair share of small playdates at parks. My latest one only one other mom attended, but it allowed us to totally connect and I am so glad we had the chance to get to know one another!
Related: How to host a fun and stress-free playdate
At a museum or playscape, scope out a loner mom
Not everyone wants to make a new friend, but most women will be super open to it! Don’t be creepy, just let conversation naturally flow. I’ve met so many people just by commenting on their outfit or kiddo accessories. This is a great way to make a real connection because if y’all actually have something in common it will be apparent pretty quickly.
Join MOPS or another faith-based mom group
My old church hosted “Roots and Fruits,” a bible study for moms on Monday mornings with free childcare (where they learn about Jesus too!). I met one of my dearest and closest friends through R&F, which led to connecting with so many other moms. If you are a Christian, joining a group like this will help you grow as a mom, as a believer and offer you amazing like-minded community. And your kiddo makes real friends too! And, if you’re not a believer, look out for a similar type group like a mommy & me book club in your community.
Related: How to find a new church after a move
Search for events on Facebook
Every week I go to the “discover” option to find local events that cater to toddlers. Not only does it keep our social life fun, but it is a great way to meet other mamas out with their littles too! Make sure you click your city or location for the best curated lists.
Meet your neighbors
Lots of neighborhoods have HOA sponsored activities or events going on at the common areas or nearby schools. Plus, joining Facebook groups or Nextdoor helps you stay connected too. I actually met a great friend of mine in our old neighborhood through Nextdoor! I just posted that I had a 2-year-old and was headed to our neighborhood park, and she joined me. Now, in our new ‘hood, I’ve met my closest friend so far at our neighborhood playground too! (Although, it was random and not pre-planned). So get out of your house and meet your neighbors!
Check out Meetup.com
Just like those Facebook groups, meetup is another great way to build community. Depending on your location, there could be tons of groups perfect for you. In New Braunfels, I’ve joined one mom-group that is super organized and I’m excited to attend more events. When I was in Austin, there were tons of specific groups: age, crunchy moms, Christians, pagans, autistic….anything you can think of! (Oh, and dog moms – there are a ton of meetup groups for you too!).
There’s an app for that
Okay, so I have admittedly not tried this but really wanted to share! This totally intimidates me, but may be the best option for some of y’all. There’s an app like Tinder especially for moms called Peanut. Has anyone ever tried it? I’d love to hear about your experience!
So, there you have it. Just a few of my favorite ways to meet moms, build community and have a great friend-filled environment for our kiddos. And, next time you’re out, make sure to stay aware of those around you instead of on your phone – you never know if you are sitting next to your future bestie!
For more on these tips, check out my latest live video!
16 thoughts on “How to build community as a stay at home mom”
These are great ideas!! I’m totally the loner mom but I don’t mind talking to people most of the time. Maybe I should stop being loner mom, haha. These are great tips that I need to utilize!
I totally get it – it is so easy to just keep to ourselves! I’ve had enough “emergencies” to be thankful I have a friend I can call to help. 😉 I hope they can help!
I never wanted to be apart of the mom groups, but man have they saved me! Every momma needs their tribe! Great post!
I can totally relate! It wasn’t until I was in the thick of it that I realized how much I needed it. Thanks for stopping by, Lynneah!
Seriously, this is something I need to do as a stay-at-home mom especially we just moved to a new city. I need to search for moms group! Thanks for posting all of these tips!
I’m right there with you, Em! We’ve been in New Braunfels just a little over a month. Hope these can help you find your mom tribe!
Love it! Took me a while to get out there with my first, he was 10 months when I discovered fb groups and meetup. I joined a group and made more friends, ended up turning into a private group of 20 something moms in my area. Two years later going strong and always making new friends through fb and face to face.
Love that! Thanks for sharing, Paula! I’ve met some of my dearest on FB groups as well, it can be an amazing resource!
I never thought this was an essential part of staying st home until I started staying at home lol!
I had to go through multiple groups before finding the one that fit the best for my kids and myself.
I have a group of stay at home moms that also meets once a month after our husbands get off of work. We go out to dinner or do something just us moms. It is awesome and really refreshes us.
I’m right there with you! I treasure the friends I’ve made from a mom group back in Austin. Now to start over again!
Great tips! I had never heard about the app Peanut until now!
Thanks! I’ve heard about it, but never known anyone to actually try. I’d love to see what someone thinks of it!
MOPS is where I started, unfortunately it was a flop in the friend department, but I met my tribe at JOANN fabrics! HAHA We go to the park regularly and try to make friends but man can some women be so closed off. We don’t live in town so it can be so hard when people want to have a little meet up at the park, but we do our best! Great suggestions!
Hey Toni! I just started at a summer study similar to MOPS, fingers crossed! I love when we make friends in the most original ways – especially because it usually includes an interest and means instant connection more than just kiddos!
These are some great suggestions so stay at home mommies don’t get lonely.